Kindness and Social Concern: Pass it On

“To understand your parents' love you must raise children yourself.”
(- Chinese proverb)

Henry and his sisters were visited this past week by paternal grandparents, a rare species who some years ago moved from the southern United States to the far northeast in their retirement. While this visit was a long journey, they are experienced travelers, still very independent, and admirably adaptable. They had selected a hotel on St. Charles Avenue to be closer to our home uptown and their stay happened to coincide with the first weekend of Carnival parades, which sometimes made getting to and from the hotel a challenge. No problem. What better way to see their grandchildren than in parade mode. These are wise grandparents.

And they are generous. In 2005 when we were suddenly refugees, they insisted that we stay in their not quite vacated house in Texas--for nearly five months as it turned out and free of charge--before they finally sold it, maybe later than planned. The house was a comfortable place but built for older folks; condominium layout, light colored cloth furniture, white walls, almost white carpeting throughout. At the time we had two restless, worried little girls with oversize penchants for markers, sandy shoes, and food spills. No problem, said the grandparents. Somehow we never doubted they meant it. Later they would help in more ways.

For these are people whose lives over eight decades have never been particularly focused on themselves. They have collected few enduring material possessions, but over a lifetime they instead made a wealth of lasting contributions to others. This is especially so in the case of Henry’s grandfather, whose remarkable career as an educator affected many thousands of lives for the better and still reverberates today in good ideas about the relationship between public schools and their communities. But for this visit here was a quiet couple happily focused tightly on just being grandparents and they are very, very good at it.

Their ability to come through the door and reconnect instantly with Henry and his sisters with soft hugs and patient questions that begin lightly and then burrow down to important and reassuring things is a seemingly natural one. Still, what a special inheritance this all will be, as passed-along traits their grandchildren can proudly remember and then, in however many ways, pass along too.

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From Pingliang a representative from Love Without Boundaries reports that all the children from Henry's old orphanage were moved to the new facility where there are for now a total of 123 children, a number slightly down from 132 counted at the old orphanage last fall. The children range in age from a few days to 14 years old, still with a relatively equal balance of girls to boys. Almost all have special needs, some mild but some "very serious." The old orphanage site is still being used to house senior citizens or other adults unable to care for themselves, while the new site houses children only. A group of orphanage staff members is set to leave soon for three months of physical therapy training at a hospital in Chongqing, our project arranged through and funded in part with assistance from LWB but also with matching local contributions. LWB has sponsors for three aunties for its new aunties program in Pingliang and ten for its nutrition program there, which is now tracking the children involved by name, a sign that LWB is establishing a good measure of trust with the orphanage staff.

The music with this post is a piece titled Orchid and performed by Shao Rong.